The Age of Ophiuchus

Today I woke up early, walked to work while squinting down the sunrise, pondered the enormity of the city of New York, performed my internly duties, schlepped home on the 2 train after sundown and went to a concert in SoHo. Today was very similar to every other day here.

It’s been getting easier and easier to melt into the expressionless masses, but this weekend, my friends Ryan and Gus came to see the city, and they helped refresh my perspective. I see so many astounding things in a day here, that I schellack myself with a layer of tedium so that I don’t have a stroke every time I step outside.

We went to Chinatown where thousands of people thronged in ribbon-clogged streets around dragon floats and acrobats to celebrate the New Year. A man tied a live, five pound carp to a stick to which he also strung kale and red envelopes filled with money and wagged it over the beer-guzzling ceremonial fighters. I took cues from my friends’ mien and reminded myself to let in the cool things.

At two that night, a man followed us with a guitar on the vacant L train, plunking and howling “Come Together.” He was the first person I’ve given any money to. It felt good.

At work, I drafted up a tee-shirt design for the Al Jazeera partnership and their special combined Egypt coverage. The day Mubarak’s regime fell, my boss took me uptown on an adventure to seek evidence of the crumbling world. When we didn’t find any at the 110^th Street Egyptian Embassy, we went out for sushi in Brooklyn instead.

I forgot how much I enjoy drawing, and the office seemed happy with the shirt design. It feels good to help out and exceed their expectations by doing little side projects like organizing disheveled CD storage areas or running the phone pledge room, but I hope I’m not just training to become a great intern.

Sometimes I tell myself to be more assertive about wanting to get my hands dirty with the production side of the station, but it’s difficult when I’m already working so hard for so many hours and everyone seems so appreciative of my help. The general manager is always talking about hiring me out of college, and today my boss even suggested that I take part in a promotional photo shoot for the station as the “face of the future.”

Meanwhile the GOP released their version of the budget, which includes defunding the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Try as we might, I doubt places like this can stay afloat with only the support of Viewers Like You. This prospect, combined with my own insecurities over my potential in the field, paints an uncertain horizon before my daily thrill of waking up and pretending to have the job I want.

At any rate, as the best fund drive pitchers teach me with every boisterous exclamation, self-doubt won’t get me anywhere. I’ll keep faith that one day, I might actually get to face the future as “the face of the future.”